I have been observing an increased resistance to change, acceptence of responsibility and, this topic of Identity that my Father has been lecturing and writing about for decades.
As a woman living in a modern era, I have found this topic to me very personal because, in many ways, us women find it so important to find ourselves. As my father mentioned last week, many little girls are taught and told that they, "Don't need a man to define who they are", and I have myself, been back lashed on a social media because I said once that "I couldn't imagine my life with out my sweetheart"
and that "he is the better half of me". Some were nay sayers from men,
but the men were saying things like I sounded like a little girl that
did not know what love was. The others were women who were actually
belittling to me and said that I am co- dependant on my sweetheart and that I was basing my relationship on sand and not a solid true view of love. They were especially bothered by the fact that I said he was truly a part of me.
My mom and dad will be the first people to tell you how independant I am. My mom once said, "Well, we can tell Dena this or that, but she sure will make her own decisions". This
rings true for all my siblings. In our own way, although we are a very
close knit and large family, we all have found our identity and
indiviuality in our family, with our spouses, and with our world as we live in all parts of the world and USA.
For the women who feel like they will lose their independence if they find their identity with their spouse, I challenge you.
I challenge you because I feel that I am more liberated and more "free" than you. I feel this way because
I feel like we women will find more freedom in embracing that we need
families and spouses in order to have our place in society. Children need to see a good functioning relaionship with a loving mother and father in order to see how they can work out in their life, relationships work. I am talking about a good healthy and safe environment. Let's face it, women! There are somethings we women just can not do!! And men, there are somethings you can't do without us!
I have for years fought
this "depend on those you love", for years. But, I have realized that I
do need those I love in my life and part of that is undertanding that I
can still be me, be individual, and still find myself with my loved ones, and especially my sweetheart.
Changing yourself and becoming a better person is finding that you actually can be more better defined when you have a good spouse at your side who loves you and you both edify each other.
Take Care, Dena Jensen
Now for the regular post from my father::
What if you married a person like Ruth? Ruth is full of expressive love for her God, who she literally worships. She prays in the morning and throughout the day, and at night; always giving thanks and saying she submits her will to Him. Many a man has married a woman like Ruth. Logically it doesn't look good for the new husband. He certainly will always be second place and Ruth's husband's will is gong to plae in comparison to His will. For Ruth, God will be her head.
John thought
and worried about this when he married Ruth, but found to his surprise
that Ruth was a delightful wife. Even though Ruth always saw herself as a
daughter of God, she was equally as comfortable as being the wife of
John. Relating with God adds for Ruth, not diminishes
the totality of being a woman. Ruth moved through life being known by
her children, friends, and even John as a woman of God. Beginning with
her relationship with God, Ruth became a greater person than she could have been alone.
On the surface, it appears that some think little about God. A supreme being seems to have no part in their life. But, that may not be a complete
and accurate picture. A common observation among soldiers is that in
the foxhole, men who had nothing to do with God were capable of praying, or as they say in the military, "You find God in the foxhole", Is there, for all persons a latent concern or awareness of God? Is this activated when extreme circumstances evoke a dormant knowledge? I don't know the answer to these questions. I am well aware of public opinion polls, survey data, and historic documentation revealing that people that have been through the centuries and world wide expressed not only an interest, but proclaimed a definite and sure knowledge of God.
God is almost always understood in terms of personal lives. The Ancient Greeks, for example, prayed, sacrificed, and asked favors of distant, non-loving and not so admirable Gods. Relating
with God is even more personal with many modern Christians who believe
God the Eternal Father is a kind Heavenly PArent who has personal love
and concern for each of his children.
In such a case it is easy to see how a God, who is a father, who is involved daily in one's life, becomes part of a person's identity. The inclusion of Godf as a part of one's identity thus dramatically impacts beliefs, desires, and all that a person thinks about, and certainly the choices made.
IF you are a person who believes in God then the understanding of your relationship with God will truly be
essential for adequate self- understanding of those you love. In such a
case, God becomes part of your marriage that will enhance the meaning
and possibilities for making you a better marriage partner.
Saturday, April 13, 2013
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
How To Increase Your Individuality In Your Marriage
Allowing others to be apart of your identity increases your individuality.
There is in existential thought the belief that we are not just solitary isolated object but, rahter, we exist in relationships with the environment, the culture and others. Heidigger especially emphasizes that humans, "being in the world", are embedded and cannot be extracted from meaning ful social interactions.
This philosophical concept shows that self identity must inclue other people. At the univeristy, most students come seeking to find and wanting to establish their individuality. In marriages, many partners fear they will lose their identity. They are on guard and want to protect their existing individuality. This usually entails making a clear separation of self from other, but, with age, we find that this approach is not healthy. The false nature of this beginning is told in the following story:
Many a young girl like Laura was told during her last years of the 20th Century not to depend on someone else, not to sacrifice self for another, to be totally independent, and self- sufficient. This well meaning advice sounds nice, but htere really has never been anyone who has done it, especially in a marriage that was happy, and long lasting.
Laura was more than just uneasy when heard the words of the marraige ceremony saying, "...to be one, to cleave unto another..." and then cam a binding ring, a taking on the name of another, the word belonging, and being Mrs (Someone) else rather than two seperate persons. She was even asked to put his needs ahead of hers.
At age 22, this way of being was a serious problem for Laura, but at age 62 it became laughable. Over the years she learned through family life and love that she had lost nothing by being with the imperfect man she loved, but, instead grew to be a more complete person.
A boat without water is not the same thing as a boat in water. A mother with a bear cub is a different animal than the same mother bear without the cub. The expression "no man is an island" is true when talking about personal identity.
So, If you want to understand yourself, you must also consider how you define yourself with significant others and most importantly, how you define yourself with the one you love.
A mother is an almost perfect example of this sharing an identity. Even before her birth, her baby has become part of her. Her life and identity will from then on never exist from her child. A mother and child share, in the course of living, their idenity with one another. The mother does not exist seperately from the child.
This can be true of husband and wife. A consequence or outcome to the first person is a consequence and outcome to the other. Indeed, people who I have a shared idenity readily state that when an honor is bestowed on the other, it is as if they had recieved it themselves, or if the other suffered, they too suffered.
The concept of shared identity may have a very practical meaning for you. Do you find that your idenity is closely bound up to the idenity of one or more other persons?
If so, then to understand yourself you must consider that they are actually part of your identity. Your answer to the above question will open the door for yet another intrusion upon your individuality. I will discuss this at a later time.
There is in existential thought the belief that we are not just solitary isolated object but, rahter, we exist in relationships with the environment, the culture and others. Heidigger especially emphasizes that humans, "being in the world", are embedded and cannot be extracted from meaning ful social interactions.
This philosophical concept shows that self identity must inclue other people. At the univeristy, most students come seeking to find and wanting to establish their individuality. In marriages, many partners fear they will lose their identity. They are on guard and want to protect their existing individuality. This usually entails making a clear separation of self from other, but, with age, we find that this approach is not healthy. The false nature of this beginning is told in the following story:
Many a young girl like Laura was told during her last years of the 20th Century not to depend on someone else, not to sacrifice self for another, to be totally independent, and self- sufficient. This well meaning advice sounds nice, but htere really has never been anyone who has done it, especially in a marriage that was happy, and long lasting.
Laura was more than just uneasy when heard the words of the marraige ceremony saying, "...to be one, to cleave unto another..." and then cam a binding ring, a taking on the name of another, the word belonging, and being Mrs (Someone) else rather than two seperate persons. She was even asked to put his needs ahead of hers.
At age 22, this way of being was a serious problem for Laura, but at age 62 it became laughable. Over the years she learned through family life and love that she had lost nothing by being with the imperfect man she loved, but, instead grew to be a more complete person.
A boat without water is not the same thing as a boat in water. A mother with a bear cub is a different animal than the same mother bear without the cub. The expression "no man is an island" is true when talking about personal identity.
So, If you want to understand yourself, you must also consider how you define yourself with significant others and most importantly, how you define yourself with the one you love.
A mother is an almost perfect example of this sharing an identity. Even before her birth, her baby has become part of her. Her life and identity will from then on never exist from her child. A mother and child share, in the course of living, their idenity with one another. The mother does not exist seperately from the child.
This can be true of husband and wife. A consequence or outcome to the first person is a consequence and outcome to the other. Indeed, people who I have a shared idenity readily state that when an honor is bestowed on the other, it is as if they had recieved it themselves, or if the other suffered, they too suffered.
The concept of shared identity may have a very practical meaning for you. Do you find that your idenity is closely bound up to the idenity of one or more other persons?
If so, then to understand yourself you must consider that they are actually part of your identity. Your answer to the above question will open the door for yet another intrusion upon your individuality. I will discuss this at a later time.
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Expanding Your Identity
Let's focus for a while on what we will become once we change. The following questions will help if they are answered.
Existentialists mention a, "Choosing Self", choosing, acting, or living to become just who we are. The existentialist Martin Heidegger refers to this process with the words, "being in the world". Of course we can't choose, or whatever we want, for, we are certainly limited at least by our body and environment. This is a fact and is called by this philosopher, "facticity". But, at any present moment in time we can, by our facticity, choose to be self creating beings. We are not an object solely shaped by a determining past. Instead, we are free and choose our future being. The past may inform us about our facticity, but does not determine us or what we become. Life is always moving forward and each person is past of the ever - changing flow forward. So, our identity, what we are, is always in a state of forward movement ans results from our choices and what we do in the present, and not so determined by our past as commonly taught.
Now, we come to an application.
We will talk about that in the following week.
- Does consistancy cause change?
- Does change cause stability?
- How much are other people a part of my identity?
- How much do I share an identity of a Supreme Being?
- How much does my identity change from time to time?
- How much does my identity change from place to place?
- How much do I want to change?
Existentialists mention a, "Choosing Self", choosing, acting, or living to become just who we are. The existentialist Martin Heidegger refers to this process with the words, "being in the world". Of course we can't choose, or whatever we want, for, we are certainly limited at least by our body and environment. This is a fact and is called by this philosopher, "facticity". But, at any present moment in time we can, by our facticity, choose to be self creating beings. We are not an object solely shaped by a determining past. Instead, we are free and choose our future being. The past may inform us about our facticity, but does not determine us or what we become. Life is always moving forward and each person is past of the ever - changing flow forward. So, our identity, what we are, is always in a state of forward movement ans results from our choices and what we do in the present, and not so determined by our past as commonly taught.
Now, we come to an application.
We will talk about that in the following week.
Friday, February 22, 2013
First Have a Change of Heart
People can experience dramtic change if they first have a change of heart.
It would be encouraging if we could only change slowly and in small steps. So here is good news.
There was once a 6 ft. 2 in. 240lb. young man who was strong, quick, stubborn, and had a temper at times. Some would say he was a little on the rough side as he smoked, occasionally got drunk, and went to parties with a rough crowd.
I tell this story because all this stopped. Not gradually either. But very quickly.
One day, I asked him how, unlike so many others; who had a hard time to stop smoking nad drinking, he could do it so quickly and completely. I don't recall his exact wrods but the central point was that he didin't want something like cigarettes or liquor controlling him or his life.
The majority of experimental research findings in psychology leads to the conclusion that our change or growth is slow and gradual. There are exceptions as observed in the adolescent growth spurt or in the "ah-ha" experience in solving a problem.
But, the general conclusion based on observations and experiements is that there is a gradual improvement as a result of rewarded pratice. From B.F.Skinner's theories and research comes the recommended procedure for changing anothers behavior. It is to gradually reward successive approximations of the desired behavior. At first, the subject in the experiment or person in the treatment will not be able to make the complete desired response. but can ıonly make a small part of hte desired action or behvaior. Therefore, if they make a small approximation then they should be rewarded and each subsequent reward should only be given when they make a slightly more complete approximation of the desired behavior. This is not the way to do things in a marraige or partnership.
In contrast, when one focuses on the spirit of another person the observable behavior and actions become less important. Instead how the spirit feels or perceives is the critical and most important element. Behavioral change follows a change in the spirit. Fortunately, changes in the spirit can occur quickly, dramatically, and completely. A person's behavior changes quickly and markedly to be congruent with teh change in the inner spirit. This is the ideal way to bring about change in marriage.
There is no disputing the fact that extenal pressure, rewards, and a combination of carrot and stick can change behavior. The disadvantage is that the behavioral change will usually be given grugingly, slowly and only enough to gain the rewards or avoid the punishment. When a person's heart is touched, behavioral change will be spontaneous, dramatic and enduring.
It would be encouraging if we could only change slowly and in small steps. So here is good news.
There was once a 6 ft. 2 in. 240lb. young man who was strong, quick, stubborn, and had a temper at times. Some would say he was a little on the rough side as he smoked, occasionally got drunk, and went to parties with a rough crowd.
I tell this story because all this stopped. Not gradually either. But very quickly.
One day, I asked him how, unlike so many others; who had a hard time to stop smoking nad drinking, he could do it so quickly and completely. I don't recall his exact wrods but the central point was that he didin't want something like cigarettes or liquor controlling him or his life.
The majority of experimental research findings in psychology leads to the conclusion that our change or growth is slow and gradual. There are exceptions as observed in the adolescent growth spurt or in the "ah-ha" experience in solving a problem.
But, the general conclusion based on observations and experiements is that there is a gradual improvement as a result of rewarded pratice. From B.F.Skinner's theories and research comes the recommended procedure for changing anothers behavior. It is to gradually reward successive approximations of the desired behavior. At first, the subject in the experiment or person in the treatment will not be able to make the complete desired response. but can ıonly make a small part of hte desired action or behvaior. Therefore, if they make a small approximation then they should be rewarded and each subsequent reward should only be given when they make a slightly more complete approximation of the desired behavior. This is not the way to do things in a marraige or partnership.
In contrast, when one focuses on the spirit of another person the observable behavior and actions become less important. Instead how the spirit feels or perceives is the critical and most important element. Behavioral change follows a change in the spirit. Fortunately, changes in the spirit can occur quickly, dramatically, and completely. A person's behavior changes quickly and markedly to be congruent with teh change in the inner spirit. This is the ideal way to bring about change in marriage.
There is no disputing the fact that extenal pressure, rewards, and a combination of carrot and stick can change behavior. The disadvantage is that the behavioral change will usually be given grugingly, slowly and only enough to gain the rewards or avoid the punishment. When a person's heart is touched, behavioral change will be spontaneous, dramatic and enduring.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Welcome Change And Chose Who You Will Be
It is now a pleasure to propose an action that surely will be considered positive.
Luke, to whom you have already been introduced, was more than a little resntful that age was forcing him to change. He liked who he was better than the vision of the man he was to be in the future. But, Luke was intelligent to know that it is fruitless to fight the natural course of life so he accepted the fact tht he was never going to be the man he used to be.
The happy part of this seemingly sad story is that there is a happy ending for Luke.
It was, for Luke a surprisinly happy ending. While he continued to go downhill, he found he was becoming happier. "How could this be?", he thougt. "I'm worse but happier." The easiest part to understand about this strange situation was that Luke didin't have to be so perfect. He didn't have to hide or disguise his increasing mistakes and small failures. He even realized that if he ever had a large failure he could even survive that. Actually it was a little exciting to become more fallible man than not having to be the same super person he was known to be.
The best part however, was the reaction of his wife and children. How could he have known they actually now liked him more when he was not so perfect? They said he seemed relaxed and was able to laugh more or at least, laugh at himself!
It might seem paradoxical, but perhaps those who most are satisfied with their present identity are also those who most welcome change in their identity.
The truth of this may be seen in the converse where those who have disstatisfaction with their present identity seem to be those who are most defensive and protective of themselves and most fearful of change.
However, how much you want to change is an important question for it does have direct applications for what will happen to you in your marriage. If you don't want to change then it is likely that your eventual change will be different than what you want even though you may try to prevent it.
But, if you welcome change in your identity, then you can have a more active role in determining the direction and amount of change. Remember, whether you like it or not, you will change.
The essential point of all this is that by welcoming change, you have a better chance in participating and creating your future identity which will of course, be different anyway than what it is today. These considerations may influence your answer to how much you do welcome, accept, and want personal change.
Luke, to whom you have already been introduced, was more than a little resntful that age was forcing him to change. He liked who he was better than the vision of the man he was to be in the future. But, Luke was intelligent to know that it is fruitless to fight the natural course of life so he accepted the fact tht he was never going to be the man he used to be.
The happy part of this seemingly sad story is that there is a happy ending for Luke.
It was, for Luke a surprisinly happy ending. While he continued to go downhill, he found he was becoming happier. "How could this be?", he thougt. "I'm worse but happier." The easiest part to understand about this strange situation was that Luke didin't have to be so perfect. He didn't have to hide or disguise his increasing mistakes and small failures. He even realized that if he ever had a large failure he could even survive that. Actually it was a little exciting to become more fallible man than not having to be the same super person he was known to be.
The best part however, was the reaction of his wife and children. How could he have known they actually now liked him more when he was not so perfect? They said he seemed relaxed and was able to laugh more or at least, laugh at himself!
It might seem paradoxical, but perhaps those who most are satisfied with their present identity are also those who most welcome change in their identity.
The truth of this may be seen in the converse where those who have disstatisfaction with their present identity seem to be those who are most defensive and protective of themselves and most fearful of change.
However, how much you want to change is an important question for it does have direct applications for what will happen to you in your marriage. If you don't want to change then it is likely that your eventual change will be different than what you want even though you may try to prevent it.
But, if you welcome change in your identity, then you can have a more active role in determining the direction and amount of change. Remember, whether you like it or not, you will change.
The essential point of all this is that by welcoming change, you have a better chance in participating and creating your future identity which will of course, be different anyway than what it is today. These considerations may influence your answer to how much you do welcome, accept, and want personal change.
Thursday, January 17, 2013
It isn't about Changing. It's about Changing For The Better
It is an advantage to grasp this simple concept. Of course, one must first accept the belief that change it good.
Luke was one of those self- made men. He came from a disadvantaged childhood and succeeded in school, althetlics, and now, financially. He was proud of what he had become through his own efforts and owed nobody anything. His new bride aored him and he was confident that he could and would do whatever was required to be successful in maintaining her devotion and love.
But, life is more powerful than any one man. As a husband it was hard not to ever make mistakes and to be right 100% of the time. Luke began with a positive self- concept, high self- esteem, and an identity as a person who was competent, smart, wise, always virtuous, and never failing. Gradually, he experienced small failures as a grown man with stiff competition. The failures were small and he learned from each, but as soon as he had corrected one mistake, or weakness, another surfaced.
Luke was smart and one day he had a great realization. Instead of becomng stronger, smarter, more athletic,and more suprerior, he was with age actually decreasing in the attributes upon which he has built his self- image. He wasn't even as good looking as he used to be. He was changing and not for the better. Before it was too late, Luke discovered that he could not fight nor prevent change. In that very moment his emotions experienced a new freedom and he let go of what he was to accept the challenge and excitement of becoming a new man.
"He became an entirely different person when he moved to California, He can't be trusted around her", "He was not that kind of person when he was younger", or "He was never that way with me". These statements illustrate how people are changing is buttressed by the whole field of developmental psychology. Change in this academic discipline is the one constant in understanding human behavior. It is not a matter of whether we change, but, who much we change, why, when and where.
Return for a moment to a previous discussion where we noted that a change in one's bodily state, such as going from sickness to health, or from drug use to sobriety, influences both mind, and/or spirit.
There are also some contexts where there are extreme and pronounced effects simultaneously on body, mind and spirit. The great changes in your identity are those associated with inevitable changes in space and time which are of course part of your life events. Great dramatic changes come from your identification, relationships, and interaction with those intimately loved and God. Religious writings are replete with total transformations seen in individuals who report that God came into their lives. And the bulk of literature throughout the ages is filled with personal transformation related to loving another.
So, it is too easy to answer the question of whether we change. The important question is how much we can change for the better?
Luke was one of those self- made men. He came from a disadvantaged childhood and succeeded in school, althetlics, and now, financially. He was proud of what he had become through his own efforts and owed nobody anything. His new bride aored him and he was confident that he could and would do whatever was required to be successful in maintaining her devotion and love.
But, life is more powerful than any one man. As a husband it was hard not to ever make mistakes and to be right 100% of the time. Luke began with a positive self- concept, high self- esteem, and an identity as a person who was competent, smart, wise, always virtuous, and never failing. Gradually, he experienced small failures as a grown man with stiff competition. The failures were small and he learned from each, but as soon as he had corrected one mistake, or weakness, another surfaced.
Luke was smart and one day he had a great realization. Instead of becomng stronger, smarter, more athletic,and more suprerior, he was with age actually decreasing in the attributes upon which he has built his self- image. He wasn't even as good looking as he used to be. He was changing and not for the better. Before it was too late, Luke discovered that he could not fight nor prevent change. In that very moment his emotions experienced a new freedom and he let go of what he was to accept the challenge and excitement of becoming a new man.
"He became an entirely different person when he moved to California, He can't be trusted around her", "He was not that kind of person when he was younger", or "He was never that way with me". These statements illustrate how people are changing is buttressed by the whole field of developmental psychology. Change in this academic discipline is the one constant in understanding human behavior. It is not a matter of whether we change, but, who much we change, why, when and where.
Return for a moment to a previous discussion where we noted that a change in one's bodily state, such as going from sickness to health, or from drug use to sobriety, influences both mind, and/or spirit.
There are also some contexts where there are extreme and pronounced effects simultaneously on body, mind and spirit. The great changes in your identity are those associated with inevitable changes in space and time which are of course part of your life events. Great dramatic changes come from your identification, relationships, and interaction with those intimately loved and God. Religious writings are replete with total transformations seen in individuals who report that God came into their lives. And the bulk of literature throughout the ages is filled with personal transformation related to loving another.
So, it is too easy to answer the question of whether we change. The important question is how much we can change for the better?
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Seek Stability But Love Change
Here is a story about stability.
Susan's father was an alcoholic. her mother neglectful and she lived in the slums most of her very unstable life. Beautiful and intelligent, she was able to find work and graduate from the University. After a few years she found herself the mother of three and the wife of a man who had a hard time holding a job and was not physically or socially attractive. She had ample reasons to seek a divorce but never wavered in her devotion or love and commitment to her husband and children. She was a rock, a rock of stability. With an unstable past, a tumultuous present. and a hard future it is hard to explain why this woman and many like her can be the strength and stable grounding for their families. It is that focusing on others rather than self bring stability?
There is an important but almost totally overlooked dynamic that helps us unerstand how we exist. It is the relative strength of the spirit tot eh body at any moment in timöe. You can understand this by first noting that the body is constantly changing based on nutrition, energy, rest, stimulation, circumstance, training, etc. The body can be strong, weak, active, and passive while constantly changing.
It is less obvious but equally plausible that the mind and spirit may also have the same characteristics. If so, then what a person is at any moment is a complicated give and take interplay between a dynamic vacillating and changing body, mind, and spirit. They all act together, as a unity, to produce at each moment a person, a different person, and a unique person.
In life, we constantly try to find stability; fortunately there is stability. But, why are some people more stable than others and to what do you attribute stability? The answer must reflect the extent to which their biochemsitry, mind or spirit give them stability.
To explain how some can be so stable and responsible while constantly being in a state of change, always moving forward, as an unfolding person, is to consider other sources of stability.
Three possible sources of stability are:
1.Being identified or responsible to other
2. Being connected to God
3.Living according to your conscience
Remeber these three ways to be stable as they are related to information that will be discussed later. In the example above, Susan's stability was living in harmony with her conscience. Mmost likely her conscience would have directed her attention to what she needed to do for others rather than a focus on self. But, Susan may also be identified with her children and husband that she just could not be self-serving.
Next we will turn our direction to a new, but related direction in this discussion.
Susan's father was an alcoholic. her mother neglectful and she lived in the slums most of her very unstable life. Beautiful and intelligent, she was able to find work and graduate from the University. After a few years she found herself the mother of three and the wife of a man who had a hard time holding a job and was not physically or socially attractive. She had ample reasons to seek a divorce but never wavered in her devotion or love and commitment to her husband and children. She was a rock, a rock of stability. With an unstable past, a tumultuous present. and a hard future it is hard to explain why this woman and many like her can be the strength and stable grounding for their families. It is that focusing on others rather than self bring stability?
There is an important but almost totally overlooked dynamic that helps us unerstand how we exist. It is the relative strength of the spirit tot eh body at any moment in timöe. You can understand this by first noting that the body is constantly changing based on nutrition, energy, rest, stimulation, circumstance, training, etc. The body can be strong, weak, active, and passive while constantly changing.
It is less obvious but equally plausible that the mind and spirit may also have the same characteristics. If so, then what a person is at any moment is a complicated give and take interplay between a dynamic vacillating and changing body, mind, and spirit. They all act together, as a unity, to produce at each moment a person, a different person, and a unique person.
In life, we constantly try to find stability; fortunately there is stability. But, why are some people more stable than others and to what do you attribute stability? The answer must reflect the extent to which their biochemsitry, mind or spirit give them stability.
To explain how some can be so stable and responsible while constantly being in a state of change, always moving forward, as an unfolding person, is to consider other sources of stability.
Three possible sources of stability are:
1.Being identified or responsible to other
2. Being connected to God
3.Living according to your conscience
Remeber these three ways to be stable as they are related to information that will be discussed later. In the example above, Susan's stability was living in harmony with her conscience. Mmost likely her conscience would have directed her attention to what she needed to do for others rather than a focus on self. But, Susan may also be identified with her children and husband that she just could not be self-serving.
Next we will turn our direction to a new, but related direction in this discussion.
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