It isn't about Changing. It's about Changing For The Better

It is an advantage to grasp this simple concept.  Of course, one must first accept the belief that change it good. 

Luke was one of those self- made men. He came from a disadvantaged childhood and succeeded in school, althetlics, and now, financially. He was proud of what he had become through his own efforts and owed nobody anything. His new bride aored him and he was confident that he could and would do whatever was required to be successful in maintaining her devotion and love. 

  But, life is more powerful than any one man. As a husband it was hard not to ever make mistakes and to be right 100% of the time. Luke began with a positive self- concept, high self- esteem, and an identity as a person who was competent, smart, wise, always virtuous, and never failing. Gradually, he experienced small failures as a grown man with stiff competition. The failures were small and he learned from each, but as soon as he had corrected one mistake, or weakness, another surfaced. 

Luke was smart and one day he had a great realization. Instead of becomng stronger, smarter, more athletic,and more suprerior, he was with age actually decreasing in the attributes upon which he has built his self- image. He wasn't even as good looking as he used to be. He was changing and not for the better. Before it was too late, Luke discovered that he could not fight nor prevent change. In that very moment his emotions experienced a new freedom and he let go of what he was to accept the challenge and excitement of becoming a new man. 

"He became an entirely different person when he moved to California, He can't be trusted around her", "He was not that kind of person when he was younger", or "He was never that way with me". These statements illustrate how people are changing is buttressed by the whole field of developmental psychology. Change in this academic discipline is the one constant in understanding human behavior. It is not a matter of whether we change, but, who much we change, why, when and where. 

  Return for a moment to a previous discussion where we noted that a change in one's bodily state, such as going from sickness to health, or from drug use to sobriety, influences both mind, and/or spirit. 
There are also some contexts where there are extreme and pronounced effects simultaneously on body, mind and spirit. The great changes in your identity are those associated with inevitable changes in space and time which are of course part of your life events.  Great dramatic changes come from your identification, relationships, and interaction with those intimately loved and God. Religious writings are replete with total transformations seen in individuals who report that God came into their lives. And the bulk of literature throughout the ages is filled with personal transformation related to loving another. 

So, it is too easy to answer the question of whether we change. The important question is how much we can change for the better?