Let Your Conscience Be Your Guide In Your Marriage

 An appeal to conscience is found in all cultures in all times.

An artist can draw a picture of the conscinece sitting on a woman's shoulder, and whispering in her ear. This is a humorous visulization, but, let us hope that it doesn't trivialize this important resource for aquiring truth and knowledge. Maybe we should worry about the impact of the following conversation:

The postmodernist skeptic: So, you claim to be my conscience. Actuyally, you are nothing more than just an emotional reaction mixed with teh things taught while growing up: nothing more. 

The conscience: Sorry, but let me help you understand that in all these conversations we are having, you are not just talking to yourself. 

The postmodernist: Okay, so you exsist, but why do some people have you and some people don't? 

The conscience: I'm there for all. I am with people, however, there is no snse in sticking around if a person won't listen to me. I even leave when a person listens, but consistently choooses to act contrary to what I tell them. Yes, I can see why you would falsely conclude that some poeple don't have a conscience. 

The postmodernist: How convenient for you. You disappear when things don't go your way. 

The conscience: You don't understand my motives. I want to be with each and every person. My motivation is to stay and not leave. I'm always available, but each person can choose to tune me out. Furthermore, once a person freely chooses to act contrary to what I say, they do not want me to be with them. 

The postmodernist: Interesting; just what I thought. Freedom is more powerful than conscience. 

Conscience: Yes, but freedom needs conscience more than conscince needs freedom. 

At a later point in time, we will discuss about living free and truthful. You may be surprised to learn that living according to your conscience is the only way to truly live free. But, before discussing in more depth it is well known that people through all times and in all place report that they are able to be informed by their conscience.  People who recieve this type of guidance most often place it above all other forms knowledge. Some are so trusting and so dedicated to this knowledge, coming from their conscience, that they will forfiet their life rather than violate their conscience. It is rooted in the deepest feelings as well as intellect. 

  As mentioned, the problem with this kind of knowledge is that it does not give the same answers to all people. Everyone seems to have their own conscience and sometimes listening to one's conscience may cause  Person A to flee and Person B to fight.  Is there a way to reconcile these opposite responses both based on the conscience? 
 If you are to trust your own conscience it would be well to understand these contradicitons between what conscience tells different people. Can this problem be resolved? 

A most straightforward answer is that what is absolutely right for Person A might be absolutely wrong for Person B, based on the differences in the persons, the time, and the circumstances. This is due to context and is not to be confused with relativism. This does not mean that there is no absolute truth and that all is relative to each person's conscience. It means that each person recieves an assurity that they are acting according tot heir conscience, even though the answer may not be the same as that recieved by someone else. This, indeed, is a complex question. But, to live free you must come to terms with your own conscience, and decide to trust your conscience. Put conscience in the very center of your marriage, but before doing this, more needs to be said about following your conscince. 
 We will discuss this in next weeks' post.          

Subjective and Objective Truths

"Life's meanings come from subjective as well as objective truths."

Professor Jensen encountered this kinid of knowledge when studying hte easrly existentialists, Martin Heidigger (1889-1976) and Soren Kierkegaard (1813-1885) in a seminar with graduate students. 
 These early existentialists, who are known as deep thinkers, talk in complicated ways about the most simplest things. These two existentialsists have helped scholars realize that there is a different way to view the world and to gain knowledge. There is a subjective type of knowing that is more fundamental, than a scientific analysis of what Kierkegaard calls objective truth. 
 This experimental type of know is for Heidigger, the most important way to find meaning in both material objects and ourselves. 
So, for students who want, need and maybe demand an academic base for this, we will use this insight from existential philosophy. 
Existentialism is concerned with both the nature of knowing and also the nature of being a person. 

Now, also consider what is probably the most profound statement ever made by a philosopher. It was set forth as the foundation of his work by the father of philosophy, Rene Descartes (1596-1640). 
He was searching for the one truth about which a person can be absolutely certain. His conclusion was that he knew for certain, that he existed. In other words, one can only be certain of one's own existence. Thus his famous statement, "I think therefore I am".  Even a child knows this to be true. First we accept that we exist, and then we explore what we become. 
"Know thyself", "To thine own self be true", "Just be yourself", are a sampling of advice you have undoubtedly heard. Why must you consciously work to accomplish the obvious? Who else could you be, and aren't you always aware of just who you are. 
Who else would you know you better than yourself? For are you not with yourself 24 hours each day and everyday? Maybe it is easier to understand the popularity og these sayings if you remember the popular phrase, "The unexamined life is not worth living!" 

 The conclusion to all this is that to be the best possible marriage partner, friend, person you can be, you must know "What are we?" Then, use the most sensible and appropriate methods to understand the illusive and hard to observe spirit of your partner. Omitted is an even more important way to respond to the spirit of the one you love.