The Most Important Part Of Your Identity Is Already Established

I have been observing an increased resistance to change, acceptence of responsibility and, this topic of Identity that my Father has been lecturing and writing about for decades. 
 As a woman living in a modern era, I have found this topic to me very personal because, in many ways, us women find it so important to find ourselves. As my father mentioned last week, many little girls are taught and told that they, "Don't need a man to define who they are", and I have myself, been back lashed on a social media because I said once that "I couldn't imagine my life with out my sweetheart" and that "he is the better half of me". Some were nay sayers from men, but the men were saying things like I sounded like a little girl that did not know what love was. The others were women who were actually belittling to me and said that I am co- dependant on my sweetheart and that I was basing my relationship on sand and not a solid true view of love. They were especially bothered by the fact that I said he was truly a part of me. 
 My mom and dad will be the first people to tell you how independant I am. My mom once said, "Well, we can tell Dena this or that, but she sure will make her own decisions". This rings true for all my siblings. In our own way, although we are a very close knit and large family, we all have found our identity and indiviuality in our family, with our spouses, and with our world as we live in all parts of the world and USA. 
  For the women who feel like they will lose their independence if they find their identity with their spouse, I challenge you. 
 I challenge you because I feel that I am more liberated and more "free" than you. I feel this way because I feel like we women will find more freedom in embracing that we need families and spouses in order to have our place in society. Children need to see a good functioning relaionship with a loving mother and father in order to see how they can work out in their life, relationships work. I am talking about a good healthy and safe environment. Let's face it, women! There are somethings we women just can not do!! And men, there are somethings you can't do without us! 
I have for years fought this "depend on those you love", for years.  But, I have realized that I do need those I love in my life and part of that is undertanding that I can still be me, be individual, and still find myself with my loved ones, and especially my sweetheart. 
 Changing yourself and becoming a better person is finding that you actually can be more better defined when you have a good spouse at your side who loves you and you both edify each other. 
     Take Care, Dena Jensen

Now for the regular post from my father::

What if you married a person like Ruth? Ruth is full of expressive love for her God, who she literally worships. She prays in the morning and throughout the day, and at night; always giving thanks and saying she submits her will to Him. Many a man has married a woman like Ruth. Logically it doesn't look good for the new husband. He certainly will always be second place and Ruth's husband's will is gong to plae in comparison to His will. For Ruth, God will be her head. 

John thought and worried about this when he married Ruth, but found to his surprise that Ruth was a delightful wife. Even though Ruth always saw herself as a daughter of God, she was equally as comfortable as being the wife of John. Relating with God adds for Ruth, not diminishes the totality of being a woman. Ruth moved through life being known by her children, friends, and even John as a woman of God. Beginning with her relationship with God, Ruth became a greater person than she could have been alone. 

On the surface, it appears that some think little about God. A supreme being seems to have no part in their life. But, that may not be a complete and accurate picture. A common observation among soldiers is that in the foxhole, men who had nothing to do with God were capable of praying, or as they say in the military, "You find God in the foxhole", Is there, for all persons a latent concern or awareness of God? Is this activated when extreme circumstances evoke a dormant knowledge? I don't know the answer to these questions. I am well aware of public opinion polls, survey data, and historic documentation revealing that people that have been through the centuries and world wide expressed not only an interest, but proclaimed a definite and sure knowledge of God. 
    God is almost always understood in terms of personal lives. The Ancient Greeks, for example, prayed, sacrificed, and asked favors of distant, non-loving and not so admirable Gods. Relating with God is even more personal with many modern Christians who believe God the Eternal Father is a kind Heavenly PArent who has personal love and concern for each of his children. 
     In such a case it is easy to see how a God, who is a father, who is involved daily in one's life, becomes part of a person's identity. The inclusion of Godf as a part of one's identity thus dramatically impacts beliefs, desires, and all that a person thinks about, and certainly the choices made. 
     IF you are a person who believes in God then the understanding of your relationship with God will truly be essential for adequate self- understanding of those you love. In such a case, God becomes part of your marriage that will enhance the meaning and possibilities for making you a better marriage partner.