In Your Marriage: Use As Little Power As Possible

Imagine two men who were married the same day and unknowingly moved into the same neighborhood. they and their brides were about the same age and background. Jake was a strong and powerful man who used a loud voice and definite gestures to communicate what he wanted from his wife and would consistently follow though with ample rewards or negative reactions. 

Mike on the other hand also had similar expectations but used little social, personal, emotional, of physical power, even in voice or communication, to bring about what he wanted from his wife. You might guess that Jake's wife was a little more on task to say the least. It would seem that Mike would have little less influence on his wife and success in bringing about what he wanted in marriage. 

But, when a marriage is evaluated in terms of devotion, dedication, and the feeling of togetherness the results look very different after many years. 

In your opinion would Mike's relationship built on low emotional, persuasive, or physical power prove to be more rewarding and require less effort to maintain in the long run? It just occurred to me that you might even like Mike's approach for the short term. 
      We sometimes describe a person in positive terms as being powerful. These are people who have at their disposal wealth, influence, and other ways to either subtly or directly force others into doing their will. 
     In relationships, we also see this as a person who is dominant in the relationship.  and can use their many powers, including subtle ones of verbal persuasion, and emotion to influence and relate. This individual is often considered the successful person. 
     A researcher analyzed all the parenting techniques and the outcomes associated with them. A general conclusion emerged. It was that the use of low power by parents was associated with more positive outcomes in children. The reason for this may not entirely clear, but part of it is due to the better relationship that emerge when the relationship is not based on using power to influence one another. 
     The successful parents relied on low power methods such as sharing feelings, mutual problem solving, and developing consideration for the well being of the other. This finding will apply to all human relationships. So, in relationships, use as little power as possible.