Understanding Others Is An Art

She loved her young son who was quite strong willed for a preschooler. One day, as many children do, he yelled at his mother. Actually the words, "I hate you!". Instead of punishing him for disrespect and bad language, the insightful mother had another response. She put her hand on his chest. And said, "Let us listen to what your heart says." After listening intensely she kindly looked at him and said she heard his heart say, "I love my mother, but I'm just mad." She did it again, as he held still waiting for another answer, but it was still the same answer came. He was tickled and the whole situation was immediately defused. Then for many times afterwards when this boy made a mistake, or has a similar problem, he would turn to his mother and exclaim, "Tell me what my heart says". To both of their delights she put her ear on his chest and always heard something good. 

The academic disciplines responsible for understanding humans have come to define themselves as a science. This is understandable because science has been successful in explaining the natural world. If you want to understand self and others in a scientific way, you would, as stated earlier, conduct experiments, or draw information from those who have conducted research on human beings.  From these experiments you would as stated earlier create the laws hat govern behavior. Next you would apply these laws Ina systematic way to yourself, and others whom you have analyzed. You might then say that you approached understanding self and others in a scientific manner, and certainly nothing is wrong undoing this. 

On the other hand, the understanding of self and others might be better conceived as an art. If each individual is a unique spirit, the spirit must be considered for an adequate understanding; and science does not offer the requisite information; or at least must offer incomplete information a out the spirit. Knowing this, and also knowing that you must come to some understanding of both yourself and your partner, ten it would be wise to obtain information from other sources. To do his you can turn to many other valuable sources of truth and knowledge. Besides gaining outside information, you can come to know the loved one through direct face- to- face interactions  and experiences. 

      Thus, as you can see much more is needed to understand a unique changing human being. Subjective judgements must be made.  The situation must be considered, and you need to see who the person is, why they are feeling, and respond to the spirit as well as to the body. 

   When using  these types of approaches to understand  a person and combining them all together, even with scientific principles, you are in a very complicated and creative endeavor.   

   Those that are good at doing this truly are artists.  It is not done with a formula but with wisdom, creative insight, and even intuition.